DO NOT, I repeat, DO NOT look up "corn sex" in google images. Unlike my google search for "sexy earwigs," which was relatively harmless (as it should have been) a search for "corn sex" is a different ball of wax.
Why, you ask, would I look up "corn sex?" Good question. And I have a legitimate answer. It is my understanding that without enough wind (and plants even), corn needs help reproducing. And without said help, no offspring (read: corn) will be produced. So how do I play love doctor with the corn? I bet you don't know the answer. But guess who probably does? GOOGLE. Now, I can read all I want about how to make the corn plants have sex, but I really just need to see a picture. Which brings us to the GOOGLE image search for "corn sex." Makes perfect sense, right?
Suffice to say, I pressed a couple plants together and called it a day. Which, by the way, is NOT how you have corn sex. But that was before I did the GOOGLE search and learned my plants don't have all the requisite parts. Why, you ask, don't they have the requisite parts? Because they're dead. Lesson 6.
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